Ended things a week and a half ago with a four-year LDR kalandian. He visited me last february after not seeing each other since July 2019 (napandemic ahaha). When he left after our two-week trip around the PH, I felt hindi na siya as responsive as before although sinasabi niya nothing has changed naman. Before he left, we've decided we're exclusive and dito ko nalaman na grabe anxiously attached pala ako? Apparently this only manifests in a committed, romantic relationship. Ahahahah jusq hirap. I was always waiting for his replies etc, super nakakaanxious, and it would take days for him to reply or even open my messages keso busy daw sya; I felt so ignored. At ito naman ako basta nagmessage sya, nahahappy ako, although im getting breadcrumbs. I can feel the anxiety in my gut. At one point iniisip ko pa nga sana magcheat nalang siya para clear deicision to end things na. Ang lala diba. Need to to really work on my anxieties kasi mangyayari at mangyayari ito sa kung sino man ang maging karelasyon ko. Anyway, umabot sa point na hindi niya man lang inopen yung messages ko for more than a week and yun na, ayoko na. Haha. Tbh i felt so free?? Like possible pala to live without anxiety? :)) I thought I was going to be heartbroken for more than a week (4 years din naman kasi kami magkausap ni koya), but after a day I felt super OK. Ang ginhawa ng pakiramdam. Hahaha di ko inexpect na ganun kabilis :)) Although di pa ko ready maghanap ng bago I guess. Enjoy ko muna itong pagiging single ko.

In happier news, I secured tickets for Eras Tour in Aus. OMGGG KENAT WAIIIIIT. mga 8 hours din ako naghintay makapasok from the lounge during the frontier presale. Ahuhuhuhu buti nagbunga #blessdt. SOOO excited for February! Ang mahal nga lang ng accoms wahahahah need na maghanap ng lalaki doon para may matitirhan :))

It is my birthmonth so panibagong set of growing-old anxieties nanaman :)) But hey I'm alive I'm well I'm healthy, I'll be okay. <3